idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
He had a huge mole on his dick. Genetics has cockblocked him for life.
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
I don't have patience to seek someone out and try to decipher whether or not I think I'd want to actually have their dick in my face.
OH MY GOD I JUST WANT TO GO HOME AND FART ALL NIGHT.
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
He used a trumpet as a funnel, said something about valve oil, and puked all over the garage.
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
Randomize
