I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
I am planning my day around naps and lesbians.
I just googled if crying burns calories
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
He told me the color of his piss. Worst. First date. Ever.
Saw 2 lesbians fist fighting outside the bar tonight. I was startled yet slightly turned on
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
They filled a kiddie pool with lube and glitter.
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
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