Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
The fact that I woke up with my panties on the counter and a piece of pizza stuck in my sheets is what scares me.
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
I feel like I should lick our pitcher just so everyone knows its ours
dude he was laying on two half-naked chicks, as they rubbed him down with lotion, while rolling a joint. hes like a modern-day african king
Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
No one is allowed to go to bed until all bottles are finished, I don't want to feel my face tongiht. Do you understand?
I'm really proud of my unchallenged ability to convert boob guys into ass men
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
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