At least I can take solace in the fact that with 8 billion some odd people in the world, at least one of them is shitting in their own car right now.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I'd call her a cunt, but she dooesn't seem to have the depth or warmth.
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
I just noticed she took the "toys" too. That's how you know when it's really over.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I left puerto rico a week ago and my vagina still smells like coconut.
She came to the party dressed as slutty elmo and then called me oscar the grouch for not wanting to bang her in the dumpster outside.
she is way to in-touch with her childhood
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
All I've done this weekend is cum and drink. I think it's safe to say I'm dehydrated.
Relationship goals: we both wore red underwear tonight. Except he won’t know because my bra been off but it’s the thought that counts I guess.
You do realize it’s only a matter of time before I have a bad day and come home with an alpaca?
NOT PREGNANT according to the two dollar tree pregnancy tests I took in the tacobell bathroom. Come meet me at tacobell for celebratory soft tacos.
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