Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Whats contracted in vegas does not stay in vegas....
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
I dig being used for consequence free sex. Not consequenceful sex.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
i love all of you. Physical. Emotional. Mental. All of it. When we speak i feel like a feather or a dragon depending on the conversation ...
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
Today's forecast: A sex tornado warning has been issued in your area. Counties affected include your bed, your shower, or your couch. This warning is in effect until further notice. Signs of a sex tornado include: your girlfriend coming up with a huge analogy to inform you that she's ungodly horny today.
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Never ever make a tattoo bet. I now have a shamrock on my dick.
I had sex with him and I blame the Doritos
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
Randomize
