can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
we got blazed and looked up peoples criminal records
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
Well look at it this way, if he should happen to get into a terrible accident within the next 2 days, its okay.. i have his dental records on my ass cheek.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
Two penises later: I might be straighter than I think.
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I'm at her wedding and she managed to get every single one night stand I ever had in her wedding party. Why does she hate me?
Just realized how behind i am. Will gradually increase drinking until i don't remember that i missed an entire year of class.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
I woke up to the sound of her peeing at the end of the bed at 4am.
Randomize
