you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
a chick just tried to cover her fart by sneezing. it didn't work
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
i caught him jerking off, doing his SAT Prep. forever alone.
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
So I pull up to an apartment complex and immediately felt like I was here to get stoned.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
