You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
The only thing I can remember you saying is "I won't cut pizza like this when I'm older."
Vaginas are confusing as hell with all their secret compartments and shit.
I'll get my vaginal cartography poster.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
Lmao I should put that ad on Craigslist "in need of muscular and determined team of men to carry drunken birthday whore safely home"
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
Best feeling in the world is getting a random boob pic from a drunk chick at 3 am.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
tuscaloosa is terrifying
like people here are just empty shells of drugs and sin
there is no mercy here
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
where did we go last night? there's dollar bills all over my room & they're all wet.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
Randomize
