he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
There was an awkward moment where I was going for his cock and he reach out and held my hand, thinking that what I was doing
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
From scraping the remnants from a coke bag at a lingerie party to meeting with an 80 year old man to discuss civil rights all in under 12 hours bizarrely feels like the epitome of my life
I responded with "neat-o burrito" to his SEXT...he tried so hard and I just panicked.
I can't believe i lost my ID... bringing my birth certificate to the club was a weird experience
After we hooked up he started to cry and called his mom and told her he wanted to marry me
IM FILLED WITH SANDWICHES AND SELF LOATHING
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
THEY'RE HAVING SEX ON A HORSE AND THE HORSE DOESN'T EVEN CARE.
My parents are being so annoying about my colon.
Randomize
