i just found a plastic monkey in my sweatshirt pocket
Umm I had a plastic mermaid in my pants......
Really
You win
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
After last night, I've decided I will now bang only men who professionally ride things for a living. I will accept jockeys, cowboys, bullriders, and pro bicyclists who lie and say they're bullriders.
I think i morst likely have 95 %patulas for hands and probably i also went to eGypt with so manyfriends. We laids in the sarcaphoguses.
You sound pretty unsure about all of this.
He recognized me by my ass from about 15 yards away. I must have a REALLY nice ass.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
I'm scrolling through our convo thread and all we talk about is pizza, alcohol & dick with the occasional "I miss you" thrown in.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
Randomize
