The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Just discovered Kim Possible porn. Life is now complete.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
Biggest lesson I have learned in college: Drink if you are happy. Drink more if you aren't.
Woke up on the floor holding a sandwich. Shots. Never again.
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Update: drank half a bottle of Bourbon and texted three ex's. Waiting for the roommates to go to sleep so I can raid the fridge.
She can be as judgemental as she wants. But she thinks the female orgasm is a myth so who is really winning here...
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
