all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
"Stranger danger aquaman" were the last words i remember. help me.
I feel like she is getting all kinds of bacterial exposure that may otherwise have been avoided had she been wearing pants
I need an IV, a new head, and stronger morals.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
She's got a shotglass necklace, running down the street asking people to "fill her up". Get here.
Randomize
