Ok so serious question: if one wanted to say the plural of mongoose, would it be mongooses or mongeese?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
I think I'd rather ejaculate tabasco. You'd have to scrape out guacamole.
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
And i'll likely end up sleeping in a bush wrapped up in my poncho
So you told me to remind you that you vomited 3 times in the street because you would forget so here is your reminder
So much Jack, so little girl.
Pumped to get "pass out-wake up in Berlin-buy a chinchilla" drunk?
If dispatch calls for us tell them I'm having a significant emotional event in the restroom
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Randomize
