Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
Fuck him. I'll set him on fire for you. Then we'll see how good of a firefighter he is.
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
You know it's a good party when even the dealers were too fucked up. Just found and counted 140 E pills I found in a bag in the couch. Just paid for weed this month.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
You're the only person I know who could blow literal chunks, laugh about it, then proceed to shotgun another beer. Love you champ.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
Randomize
