if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
every time you want to hook up with a guy who has a girl friend, i'll just give you a freshman
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
Woke up with 3 sports bras for underwear. Valiant effort drunk me.
These are your "grown up" slampiece's new hours of operation; please plan accordingly
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Is it socially acceptable to break up with someone over snapchat?
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
Are you texting, crying and driving?
And missing part of my eyebrow. Correct that is the description one would give of me at the moment.
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
Randomize
