I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
Drag queen told me that I have the cheek bones to do drag. That's supposed to boost my moral.
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You are hereby uninvited from future Turnt Tuesdays until further notice.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
LOL he's a hopeless romantic now? 🤔 I'd say giving him a bj in a freakin softball dugout isn't the most romantic thing but it still happened
We didn't have a place to have sex. So we timed the automatic car wash & spent $9 for 3 minutes and 45 secs of car sex.
Went home last night with that hot British guy. Sounded like I was f-ing in a Harry Potter movie.
Randomize
