i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we saw you sitting at the door of the dorm trashed, wrapped in DANGER tape with a stolen balloon around your wrist
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Well, that's a 3 inch weight lifted off of my vagina
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
there is nothing ok with the fact that that was the 4th time i peed in the same parking ramp
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
My mom is currently out with her lesbian friends and I'm home alone drunk listening to the Les Miserables soundtrack. WHY DO I FEEL THE NEED TO COMPETE WITH HER?
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
You handed me your heels and said, "barefoot running is all the rage." Then you proceeded to run home.
Your slutty phase was the highlight of my year.
Randomize
