literally followed a trail of condoms to the bus stop this morning. Ahh modern-day bread crumbs
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
My building was evacuated who wants to quake and bake
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
Eating an ice cream sandwich while your little bro gets me weed. May I adopt him?
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
We lost a person.... if you see a man in yellow shorts and nothing else walking around let me know...
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Hello! Time means nothing. Good morning! I have a vague idea of what day it is.
It is Muednethiday, March 34th, in the Year of Our Lord Joe Exotic 3099.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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