It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
I threw up so much beer last night that my puke had a nice head on it.
just found out my horoscope sign is scales. it's like i was destined to be a drug dealer
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This is why Helen Keller didn't drink
I think we did. All i know my pants smell like pong water due to the bathroom extravagansa. God I feel like a whore.
I let a blind guy feel me up. All he kept saying was "oh fuck yeah!"
I just had sex in the footy bunny pajamas my mom bought me for christmas. Tis the season
It was like a baby arm holding another baby arm holding an apple grove. Fuckin huge!
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
