grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
It took him longer to remove his skinny jeans than it did for him to finish. I didn't even have time to realize it sucked until it was already over.
you came downstairs saying you were now 'dressed to impress'
what was i wearing?
nothing
he threw up all over himself while laying down.. it was like watching old faithful, but with noodles and vodka
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
Maybe tomorrow I'll be drunk again and can provide you with texts at a more reasonable hour. Here's hoping. GOodnight. Tebow loves you
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
Unfortunately the rum ran out midway through our viewing and we had to suffer in silence for the rest of it.
Randomize
