Why did we buy the only spinning apartment on campus?
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Just used my boobs as a ramp to guide ramen into my mouth.
Is this helping you get pumped up or am I going to have to send you more dick pics?
if memory serves, the guy you were hooking up with said he was a slutty skittle.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
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