i think my tv is drunk
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
because you can't take the autistic girl you're babysitting on a blunt ride.
Woke up this morning with a junior police officer sticker over my nipple this morning.
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
Dude between pissing everywhere and all of those frogs, that bathroom got wrecked.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Some older looking guy gave me his card as he exited the train. Hes a pharmaceutical rep. I'm debating asking him for a job. Obv he wants sex but if I can get a job out of this maybe I can offer him more than a cheap dry handjob bc that's all I'm really up for these days
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Damn him and his beautiful face and body and penis.
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