Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
I justed realized that the word 'turd" is present in saturday
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
Ryan Howard.... the only guy who struck out more than me this weekend
I told her i was enlisting in the air force tomorrow.....it was like the activation code to her vagina
sitting in class between the roommates of the two girls i fucked over break. this feels like a bad version of wife swap
Captain Phil from deadliest catch died... im trying to think of a memorial fb status but "ill miss your crabs" doesnt sound right
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
He just asked me if I wanted a ride on the "bologna pony." I never wanna have sex again...
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
Listen, dont tell me about your day or that your mom is in town. Don't ask me to drive you to the airport or proofread your paper. Text me when and only when you have a boner. Oh and take your pants off and leave your front door unlocked because I'm coming over.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
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