i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
Picking up third year law school girls is like MILF hunting for beginners
So last week was the 4th time a girl cried after sex. I'm seriously doing something wrong
It just gets louder and louder too...dear god. Her poor vagina.
He gave me an orgasm before we even reached 2nd base, everything he did in high school is irrelevant.
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Probably not well advised, but you're welcome to stop by if your not ready to end your night. You know, for Thanksgiving's sake.
You're like Jane Goodall in a forest of gay men. Someday your autobiography will be called "Bottoms in the Mist".
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
Why did I wake up to a snap chat of myself drinking beer out of a blender?
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
My mind doesn't wanna day drink but my heart does.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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