Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
Seeing him suck some chick's face on VH1 wasn't exactly how I imagined the "we should see other people" conversation going.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
Well u missed Autumn's newly 21 yrs old sister flashing her tits and standing on the bar last night.
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
There is a cooked ham in the washing machine.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Typically a man doesn't buy a woman a drink in hopes of her laughing at his penis, but no one said I was normal.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Everybody at Lexi's party found out I'm both a screamer and a moaner after he ate me out on the pool table downstairs. Just another sunday night in Alaska
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