actually, I'm a sock model
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Dude, the women on the view have some valid arguments
You know how I know you're gay?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
he drunkenly pissed himself on the deck, in the bathroom, and on my couch within the span of an hour
its like an avodart commercial...maybe he has a growing problem
with your vagina and my liver, anything is possible
Not complaining, but why is there a Russian chick downstairs making latkes?
he's speaking broken english and calling me isaac.. this is not the australian i ordered for a one nighter
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
Just face planted the stairs. Apparently Santa brought an extra step while I was at the bar... Fucking dick
I look like shit btw. Like the joker from Batman.
I'm not sure how that's possible unless you put on face paint. Which I would respect.
me + whiskey = a bad person
Ok. I'm gonna smoke some weed and look at some elephants without you then.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
Randomize
