Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
Richard, I just read on your Twitter account that you have enjoyed a, "Much needed post birthday smoothie..."...A bit revealing, no?
It's a law of Nature, girls naturally hate eachother. It's only when there's no competition for a mate that they can hate each other a little less and then are appropriated into the "BFF" slot.
I had total buyers remorse when i finally got him naked. All that effort for a dude that hairy? Come on.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
This guy in a neck brace is ordering bottle service at the strip club. Not sure whether to applaud his commitment or scorn his addiction. It's a draw.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Matt you can be anything you want to be. Including the awesome guy that brings pizza to a bunch of stoned and sorta drunk kids.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
In my dream, you became a famous tap-dancer. Congratulations.
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Randomize
