wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
Dontating $10 to the Red Cross relief effort in Japan for every car bomb I take tomorrow. Yes, buying me a drink just became a good cause.
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
Well last time he got out of rehab he lasted 6 hours. So 3 days this time is quite an accomplishment.
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
You had me at "let me see your balls"
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
Shhh embrace your inner whore. Just embrace it.
My GF, FWB and Side piece are all booty calling me. I’m a victim of my sexual success
Randomize
