Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
someone, somewhere in austin has to have a muppet
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Yeah he got kind of mad when he found out he had chased his last two shots with a combination of orange soda, water, and used mouth wash.
i woke up in his neighbors pool house. Not sure how I got here but there is people swimming outside. how do I escape?
just fucking run.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
I can't adult today.
Take a nap and try again
I have to buy a couch. There's nothing more adult than buying a couch on a Tuesday.
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
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