what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
I guess i tried to text 911 last night with "someone stole my bong." Thank god that doesn't work...
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
This is worse than the time I broke into Subway to steal bread.
I've had cake for breakfast the past 3 days. You tell me how bikini season is going.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
He's in a nude suit, bald, with a pink headband and a black sharpie streak down his forehead.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
HEY. NO. THIS IS ABOUT YOU RIGHT NOW. YOUR COCK, MY MOUTH, THATS IT.
Caitlin, you were laying in your bed feeding your dog ritz chips and singing a whole new world at 4am loud enough your neighbors came over an asked you to stop.
I love my life
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I was a psycho gf all the time...I'm sorry
I was drunk 90% of the time...tit for tat
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