Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
how is it that I keep meeting up with you when Im drunk?
you stand on my porch screaming my name until I come out with you...
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
I'm like 89% sure I could get him to buy me a car in exchange for a half-assed handy.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
I'm not saying i'm drunk
But i'm drunk.
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
