He just told an 8 year old to go fuck himself so we probably won't be in the butterfly exhibit much longer.
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
YOU BROUGHT HANDCUFFS TO THE WHITE ELEPHANT EXCHANGE AND DIDN'T TELL ME???
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Randomize
