dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
I think the only thing that impresses me are nice penises...and Jesus. Jesus would impress me. Especially if he walked on water again.
foreplay: 7 minutes. sex: 3 minutes. cuddling: 10 minutes. getting dressed: 5 minutes. commute: 5 minutes.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
This is the second girl that said she wanted to fuck me while wearing a clown nose. Fuck online dating
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
