Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
I come up with the best drinking games while babysitting
she was pooping while we were on video chat. new level of love.
no, that was the night I slathered your dick in the icing from my birthday cake
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
Guess who just got a Christian Beliefs class to seriously discuss the spiritual implications of dolphin rape?
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
Like I didn't gracefully walk into these feelings. No, I fucking stumbled and fell face fucking first.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
