I mean I can't believe yesterday ended w/ your house getting firebombed. What an unexpected turn of events
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
I woke up this morning with a hospital armband on containing all the information off my fake i.d. WTF did we do last night!?!?
It could have went better. They kicked us out of the casino and I drunkenly whipped her across the face with a fishing pole. Long story.
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Someone's having a good night if they're getting gummi bears and Astroglide.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
are you still up? I want to use you for sexual things. you have 35 minutes to respond to this offer.
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
