mmm... i enjoy making beautiful women smile
This is not my ceiling
So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
Yeah apparently i got lonely because everyone was hooking up so i took matters into my own hands. I woke up on the floor spooning a vaccuum cleaner, a mop, 40 paper cups, and industrial grade detergent.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
