do you think it i'm gay because i was in a 3 way lastnight?
well not if you dont touch the other dude and concentrate on the chic
what chic?
I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I think taking a nice shit is a lot more satisfying than an orgasm. This is probably why I'm single.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
I ate a pepperoni off of someone's floor last night. We need to talk.
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
i like feelif swiord YOU ARE A GOD
Nothing says besties like laying naked in bed hungover arguing over who is getting the pants
Also, it was so cold in that bathroom that I saw my crap steaming, a first in my life
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
