4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
My lawyer watched my DUI video. Said of the thousand or so he's seen, mine was one of the top ten best.
Anddd after the worst sex of my life, he said.."do you mind taking off the condom, tying it up, and throwing it at the door?" Weird.
Speaking of school, I've done the math and I get laid about 10 times more often than I did before I got my law degree. $100,000 well spent.
Just heard a guy on the phone saying " ya ill buy the eight ball " then came to my register to ask what asile the sugar substitute is on.
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
Drunk girl in a bikini just tried to bite my face, it's officially spring break
omg his dad is hot
... I'm currently away at the moment. Leave a msg since I cannot express how much I can't help you stop ruining peoples lives.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
We're hate flirting, damnit.
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