I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
I could make wine with my vomit
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
Uh, also, Rob told me he felt bad for choking you.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
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i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
You know just sitting here carrying on a conversation with a 5 yr old about why there is puke at the landing of the staircase
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I remember looking at his body and thinking wow you have a body sculpted by Jesus himself. Still not sure if I said that out loud or not
Yeah because the only thing stopping you from fucking Emma Watson is you not being a Gryffindor
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
omg girl... i cut your hair last night. tell me it looks okay!? i saw hair on the counter and i said ohhh nooo
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