Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
It was sunday, you had a camel back of bloody mary stumbling around a dog park with no dog.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
The feeling are messing with the penis
I may or may not have pissed on my floor last night
Welcome to 22
10/10 dentists agree that he is one bangable mother fucker. hint: i am all of these dentists.
Let's just grow old together and be the crazy ladies that sit on the park bench, drinking booze from flasks and loudly talk about people who walk by.
Randomize
