Hey man sorry I got all grabby
Be here at 3:30. We'll find out how much beer can fit in a Mini Cooper.
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
I was unaware that a tutu and pasties was appropriate attire to this
im just sayin im driving an hr to pick her up, just cause shes your gf doesnt mean i shouldnt be entitled to a bj
The puppy is a lightweight. 3 beers and he's passed out on the floor already. I repeat, the puppy is a lightweight.
I smell like gasoline and adventure.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Rainbow fish was a wild success, got wasted at 6 gave away most my scales and made out with max from where the wild things are.You'd be so proud
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
I'm going to try and loofah my hangover away.
Update: It didn't work
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
He put on star wars porn, i thought it was hilarious last night but now i'm wondering why he has star wars porn
Randomize
