I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Vibrating panties would be amazing during this conversation!
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
I dont care if he cant spell. Illiterate people need blowjobs too
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
Apparently I stole windex from the cab driver. Klepto Tom strikes again.
I no longer believe that the road to self esteem is through his penis.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
He's hot and has an accent therefore you don't ask questions when he tells you to take your pants off.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
So I have now fucked both my roommates...This is why I can’t live with men.
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