If I had a penis I would totaly hang shit off it. Like stretched out peach rings and fruit rollups.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
There is a girl on the metro with no shoes and she's using a Crown Royal bag as a purse.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
My ass is in a myriad of pain right now
Lesson learned - Taco Bell before a long night of BDSM is a BAD idea
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