He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
apparently, i ordered a pogo stick last night. i can't even be mad about that.
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
This is now the friendly bartender typing for him. He wants to be on you. He is going to "destroy your vagina". Good luck and sorry if this woke you up!
Ugh I miss culture and lesbians already
i feel we're the only people who'd use nyquil sexually
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
You took off all your clothes to try on her fur coat and then punched me when I said you couldn't wear it to bed.
i only stock magnum condoms so if the guy i bring home doesn't fit in them he only gets to eat me out. no exceptions.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Randomize
