Just spent the rest of my time at that bar trying to keep a probs underage closet gay from touching my kitten to prove he still likes girls.
i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
I bought a 9 dollar purse from payless so if I throw up in it tomorrow, no biggie.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
Can you please reassure him im not a scary or intimidating person? And that really my entire life is a series of completely ridiculous events that have led me here?
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
The logic in me says "don't text him" .But the vagina in me says "text him".
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Let me know if you need some dick this weekend.
Between the BF being in town, partying at the Side Dick’s house tonight and two Tinder dates tomorrow I’ve got dick to spare!!
Randomize
