I think the sex offender registry is kind of a VIP list. You get to not live near noisy schools and parks and all your neighbors get to know you.
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
i'm stoned. there's a jazz trio playing outside across the street...scared that mike myers will appear & start yelling 'woman...WHOA MAN. WHOOOA MAN.' i'm snapping my fingers.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
I asked about his 3 inch scar on his chest. It's from when he had to castrate a bull on the estancia. Apparently this is how good bull meat is made.
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
I've awoken at 3am again, in a night terror, just thinking about how big his dick was.
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
They better not charge my debit card for what you peed on.
I've just informed her that you've voted her Chief-Adult-In-Charge-Of-Shit and that she will take the oath of office on Fri Dec 14th at 8 pm with her hand on a bottle of Jager.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
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