half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
We were sexting and then the radio announced robert pattinson would be playing kurt cobain in a movie and it totally killed the mood
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
Easy for you to say! His first impression of you isn't the drunk girl in a turtle costume who got hit by a car!
If the EMT's ask later... I had 5 hour energy for breakfast and Four Loko for dinner... It might be important for them to know that
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
so, give him that "thank you for fighting for my freedom bj" & he wont even remember what you said in that six min voice mail.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Last night he told me I was never sexier than when I was cutting pizza. Seriously. Like, he's perfect.
UGH I HATE BEING THIS WAY IM GOING TO GO HUG THE CACTUS YOU GOT ME
My uterus just tried to get me to buy a tub of cookie dough
I can't be sure but I think I slept with a clown last night...
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