the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
thanks for stopping by when you did. making a meatball quesadilla while high was a bad choice
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
I can see why you broke up with her now... it was like having sex with a corpse.
HE HAS A CHODE. LIFE IS NOT GOING TO BE EASY FOR HIM.
it was really awkward meeting your mom for the first time while i was still wearing the condom we were using.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Idk. Im in a bed. the walls are wood. There's a deer mount.. im afraid to turn over and see who's next to me but he's violently cuddly.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
We kind of broke a table making out. So yes, I'd say it was successful.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
Randomize
