just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
Goose bottles do NOT make good bowling pins
she just announced that once she was paid to deep throat a light saber with a mint flavored condom on it. i'm speechless.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
I have come to realize that my purpose in life is less musical and more as a filter of alcohol into water.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
You can't just say "I scored us a potential threesome" and then not text me back.
Randomize
