I think the phrase "baptist college" should be an oxymoron.
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
just found glitter in my belly button...seriously when will this nightmare end
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I woke up in your car in the McDonalds parking lot. What the hell happened to 'no man left behind'?
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
Ive seen teh same guy pissing in the corner. Twice. Its eally weird. My frieds gonna do th funnel. Im so excited for her! Love, cori. Cuz its lik a diary.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
My life is literally the worst. I was just laughing so hard at how hot they looked feeding each other the brownies and then I was like DON'T CRY
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
we used a blowdryer last night to warm up our left over pizza..it worked perfectly at first..but then the chili powder got into his eyes..
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